"Long before every moment of our lives was tracked by handheld devices and cameras recording our every move, Phill Branch was under surveillance. His father was a football playing, weed smoking, Army vet tailor made for the seventies -- he was one of those guys everyone wanted to be around and that women seemed to love. Phill was different, he was... defective and his father searched for proof of this in every action until he found it. "Your teacher called. She said you be out there jumping rope with girls, that true?" It was true and Phill paid greatly for this failure at boyhood. From this he learned there were standards to be met, codes that were not to be violated and strict punishment for any deviation from your assigned position in the world. In this personal narrative, Branch reckons with patriarchy and tradition, the legacy of these social structures in Black America, and how they have molded and silenced him. Taking readers from Newark, New Jersey to Los Angeles, California, Branch writes lyrically and honestly about growing up as a queer black son to a complicated and often absent father, rigid in his ideas of masculinity. From his early experiences of inappropriate relationships with men twice his age, to his successful rebranding at Hampton University, to his rubbing shoulders with celebrities all while struggling to feed himself as a writer in Hollywood, Branch charts his complex relationship with his idea of success, perceptions of manhood, and ultimately his father. The Double Dutch Fuss recounts growing up under the heavy burden of expectation-to be a boy, to be Black, and to be queer in ways that conform to rigid, often unforgiving norms. It is about the knotted path of becoming, while navigating the always-present fear of emotional and physical violence, and the threat of isolation for simply being who you are. The heart of the book explores the cosmic pull between fathers and sons, even when bonds are fractured, and how healing those wounds can open a pathway toward freedom and wholeness. The Double Dutch Fuss is an insightful and surprisingly humorous reflection on identity, masculinity, and the quiet, radical act of choosing to exist on your own terms"-- Provided by publisher.